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Couples across cultures and continents — of all races and religions, economics and demographics — experience the same human emotion when faced with relationship challenges and marriage problems. Take your pick: depression by one or both partners, long-term illness, work stress, money stress, problems with children, addictions, blended families, co- parenting issues like not being unified in your parenting style … these types of long-term stress can seem all-consuming at times.
And chronic stress can have serious consequences, causing physical symptoms backache, headache , emotional upset anxiety , anger , or relationship disconnect or conflict. Another very common, yet significant, issue for couples is the difference in their core values. When you first met him, he seemed so interesting and enticing they do say opposites attract , but after the initial period of infatuation and romance faded, the differences created a disconnect between each of your core values in areas like education, how to raise your children, traveling, money management, marital roles and responsibilities, religion, and more.
These are BIG ticket items when it comes to maintaining a long-term marriage with someone: honesty, trust, and communication. What makes it complicated for couples is how you communicate about your hot-button issues. A few things to remember, to help take some of the stress out of tough conversations:. Secrets, sex, or money or secrets, sex, AND money? In one poll, over U. Notably, our society is increasingly more stressed out than it was 6 months ago or even 5 years ago!
Secrets are insidious and can be a dangerous slippery slope that starts with a small detail you leave out when talking about your day, to a white lie about how much you really spent at the store. Over time, it becomes a habit, and like any habit, the lie grows bigger and wider until you feel like your life is out of control! If you find yourself living a lie with your spouse, it is vital that you take steps towards healing that gap — even if you have to reach out to a relationship professional or your pastor.
As a first step, you have to decide to begin changing the pattern of communication between the two of you. So, reach out to him in kindness. Once the two of you have figured out your sources of marriage stress and have made a plan to communicate, you can do the real work of addressing your marriage problems. Change your mindset from worried and negative or angry and grumpy to hopeful, determined and positive!